My salute to National Cheese Day

Good morning to you all.  It's National Cheese Day today, June 4, 2023.  In honor of this day, those of you who read my blog regularly, will undoubtedly expect me to fill my post with pictures of delicious cheeses and who knows what other delights? But you'd be wrong.  

Okay, in the interest of those who were really hoping for cheese pictures, here is one good one.  It's from a wine tasting event at Maison Vauron in Newmarket.  

The rest of my post today however, will be made up of cheese inspired limericks. Yes, limericks. National Limerick Day was on May 12th, and you escaped being deluged with other limericks during that week. But there's no avoiding Doug's poetry today. 

I have always liked limericks, and every now and then sit down and spew a few of them into the computer, where I let them ferment until they're ready to spring on the unwary.        

Are you familiar with limericks?  An English poet by the name of Edward Lear is credited with making these short poems well known. (His birthday was May 12)  He wrote 212 of them I learned.  Here is what's listed as the world's most famous limerick to give you the feel of the style.

There was an old man with a beard,

who said, "It is just as I feared. 

Two owls and a hen,

four larks and a wren,

have all made their nest in my beard." 

Personally, I try not to repeat key words in my rhymes. Be that as it may, what follows are my offerings for the day.  You're free to criticize them too if you want to. It seems to me that I might have published some of these at another time, but if so, it was so long ago that hopefully, you'll have forgotten them. 

But first, It's important that you read the poems with the correct rhythm. Here's another one to get you used to the meter. 

I need a front door for my hall,

the replacement I bought was too tall.

So I hacked it and chopped it,

and carefully lopped it, 

and now the darn thing is too small.   

These are mine.

Do you like eating cheese like I do?
Camembert, Asiago, a blue?
What I say is, "Why wait, 
Reach up, grab a plate, 
I'll crack a new wheel just for you!"

I once met a man from Belize,
Who'd filled up his pockets with cheese.
The weather there: hot, and 
like it or not,
It all melted: ran down to his knees. 

Here is one in its unfermented state:

I once met a lady from Nizes.  
Who made cheese wheels of two different sizes.
She'd wear her best gown,

And roll them to town,

Always selling out ere the sun rises.     

And this is the fermented version:

I met a young lady from Nizes. 

She makes cheese wheels of two different sizes. 

She's quite the success,

Has three stores, no less,

And is currently selling franchises. 


A lady I know said, "It's true, 
my favorite cheese must be blue, 
No cheddar or brie, 
Will satisfy me,
I want Stilton, French bread and a brew!" 

As you enter a shop selling cheese,
take this advice, if you please.
As you study their wares, 
don't scratch in your hairs, 
And of foremost importance, don't sneeze.  

Mr. Casei Culture's my name, 
turning milk into cheese is my game.  
Before milk is too old,
with bacteria or mold,
I produce treasures of world-wide acclaim.  

I once tried to make a fondue, 

but it turned out more like a cheese stew. 

I used chopped paneer,

and a bottle of beer, 

Had to thicken it up with a roux.  

'Bout that cheese in Belize that got melt, 
The guy scraped off his jeans as he knelt. 
The cheese, it was blue,
What else could he do?
His pants might have looked clean but they smelt.  ( I think this one might have fermented too long) 

Well, that's it for cheese limericks for today.  I hope that some of you might be inspired to try your hand, or brain, at writing some limericks on any subject at all, but during this week, a cheese limerick would be most appropriate.  

Here are two more on other subjects that I wrote at various times.  

A limerick poet said, “Benches

rhymes with wenches, and stenches and quenches. 

I've worked out some verse

that is ribald and terse,

But can't seem to fit in the word drenches.”

Four more lines are all that I need, 

for my limerick to finally succeed.

Just two more to go,

and what do you know?

I'm a poet, I'm sure you've agreed!  

I think a limerickist's (I know, I know, I made that word up) best friend might be Rhymezone. 

https://www.rhymezone.com/

Happy Cheese Day everyone!   -djf (start thinking)